Finally, I agreed to talk with Paul and Alma. They told me that Christians were not supposed to be depressed. I had never heard that before. I had been on Prozac for 5 1/2 years for suicidal depression. Many members of my family were on anti-depressants, so I never questioned that this was wrong. Well one night at a deliverance team meeting, my husband stood behind me, encouraging me to allow Ed to pray over me. That night I was delivered from depression. I went home and threw my Prozac away. I had found freedom like I had never known before. I couldn’t stop smiling. I was able to pray again. It was great!
As the weeks passed, I felt the depression creep back into my life. How could this be? Hadn’t I been delivered? Yes, I had, but the strongholds were still there. I never broke the legal rights Satan had over me. I returned to a Tuesday night deliverance meeting. As Paul began the mass deliverance, my whole body began to shake. Things I hadn’t thought about in years were coming back to my mind. When Paul asked if anyone needed more help, I shot out of my seat to the front.
Ed and Donna asked me some questions about what seemed to be bothering me. The answers were anger and depression. With further investigation into my past, we discovered that I had never forgiven my older brother for committing suicide and leaving me with a terrible secret of incest. That night I forgave him and Satan’s legal right was broken. Guilt, anger, depression, suicide, and self-hate were destroying my life. That night they had to leave. I am still finding unforgiveness in my life that I am confessing as God reveals it to me. I am combing through my past to find any areas that Satan may claim as his own. God is such a loving God! He has drawn me close to Him each day. He is revealing a plan for my life and is asking me to step out in faith to meet Him.
My husband says he has a new wife. I know he does. I finally feel the joy of the Lord and know the freedom of living in His will. Satan never wanted this to happen to me and used my Christian family to stop it. He is still using them to pull me back. But I now have the strength of the Lord fighting the battles. What peace there is in knowing that God has full charge over your life! Our God is so awesome!
Thank you for letting me share some of the wonderful things God has done recently in my life. I can’t stop praising His wonderful name!